Year End Posting

Udah mau tahun baru lagi aja. Waktu yang larinya kecepetan atau aku yang engga lari-lari? Last year new year eve, rame-rame nongkrong sama ayah sama Opi di Simpang Lima. Dua tahun lalu, tahun baruan di kosan sendiri like.. literally dan itu mati lampu. Tahun baruan kali ini almost exactly the same kayak dua tahun lalu. Cuman bedanya ini lagi engga mati lampu aja. Tahun baru, engga tau suppose to be happy atau sedih atau in between. Tapi engga ngerasa apa-apa. Oke, karna I'm sick of ngegombalin diri sendiri tentang resolusi-resolusi yang cuman anget di awal dan finally menguap in a month. 

New year. I just don't want to put so much celebration yang sebenernya—if you want—you can celebrate it everyday, every hour, bahkan every second. I did celebration everyday. Just as simple as being happy whenever I bought takoyaki yang masih anget di sebrang kosan. Celebration is as simple as burst up in excitement whenever Choi Taek appear with his adorable smile di Reply 1988. Celebration is as simple as kelar ngerjain tugas dan you do a self-appraisal dengan bertepuk tangan bahagia. You've done celebration upon lots of changes everyday dude.

I just feel like have nothing to celebrate. Time changes every damn second and whatsoever with this change? Even birthday celebration. I've got one silly wish.. at least once in my life time, on my birthday, engga usah ada yang ngucapin, ngasih kado apalagi surpres, just pretend like there's no one is having a birthday, stop congratulating upon something that just suppose to happen that way gitu loh. Kecuali pas lagi ulang tahun, kebetulan lagi wisuda, atau kebetulan dapet pacar, something yang emang worth to celebrate.

I think celebration is about giving your self an appraisal upon something you've done successfully. If you did nothing ya you don't need celebration. If you fail ya try again till you make it. Celebrationnya ntar aja if you success. Tapi mungkin people seneng having celebration sih ya even without any reason. Karna people demand to be happy dan celebration guarantee a happiness.

Ya mungkin postingan ini cuman buat cari-cari alesan kenapa tahun baruan engga kemana-mana. Even ibu called me tonight, nanyain kamu lagi dimana dan langsung terdengar nada kasihan yang menyedihkan pas tau anaknya malem tahun baruan sendiri di kosan. Bahwa you need to be happy, nak. Lah dikira saya engga bahagia sendirian di kosan? Wkwkwkwkwk. 

Ya syudahlah kalo begitu, happy new year semuanya.