As soon as I opened this book, Little Women by Louisa May Alcott, the magic happens. It tells me beautiful phrases I've never read before, it introduces me characters whom I laughed and shed tears with, it conveys messages in a way that warms my little heart.
I should disclaim that I'm not a fan of English classic books. I've read some of them, though, in past few years, but for some reasons, I just couldn't find myself enjoying any of them. Not until today.
I thought it was just something about this book that makes me so into it. But as I read along, this book told me that it was more than just about the beauty of 19th-century-English expressions or the lovely young female characters who wear dresses in daily basis. It reveals something within me that I wasn't even aware of it myself. That, first, I've evolved as a reader. And second, that I miss home.
I miss the hug my mother gives whenever we saw each other in the arrival gate of the airport, I miss the loud welcoming voices of my little rebellious cousins whenever I get into the car to our way home, I miss being bored and lazy all day long with my sister in the newly-air-conditioned room, I miss the silence my grandfather keeps whenever he washes and cuts some fish for dinner, and of course, I miss my father.
For every of his wrinkles and white hair, for every strength he keeps within, as he wishes, someday, to see me become a writer and marry a man who loves reading. Though he's not with me at home, he's always been a home to me wherever he is.
"Make this home happy, so that you may be fit for homes of your own, if they are offered you, and contented here if they are not. One thing to remember, my girls. Mother is always ready to be your confidant, Father to be your friend, and both of us hope and trust our daughters, whether married or single, will be the pride and comfort of our lives (page 150)."
This book follows four siblings who evolves as better sisters, daughters and friends as the story goes. I read aloud some paragraphs, as I get more immersed by the story. I was one of the players in a game they play, talked to strangers with the same insecurity as they feel, or simply was in their house, as if I was the fifth sibling.
There was this chapter which follows Jo, the second eldest, who was mad at Amy, the youngest, but at last, she gave the little sister her sincere forgiveness. This resonates with me as it reminded me of the past, that I disliked my sister and wished for bad things for her, that I was such a little thing full of hatred, that I was no way close to be forgiving nor brave enough to admit my fault. I couldn't help but cry as I flip through the pages.
"I let the sun go down on my anger. I wouldn't forgive her, and today, if it hadn't been for Laurie, it might have been too late! How could I be so wicked?" softly stroking the wet hair scattered on the pillow.
As if she heard, Amy opened her eyes and held out her arms, with a smile that went straight to Jo's heart. Neither said by word, they hugged one another close, in spite of the blankets, and everything was forgiven and forgotten in one hearty kiss (page 126).
There are just so many pure little things written carefully and genuinely in this book, including the love of a grandfather to his granddaughter. I've never been so close to my own grandfather. He's a man of few words. He works despite of his age, he amuses himself by watching news on television, he cooks his own food that sometimes he burns the kitchen. In his silence, during most of the nights when I'm home, he texts my mother to bring me and my sister, to come over for dinner in his house.
"Malam ke rumah. Ada haruan. Bawai kekanakan," he texted.
That was short and that's just how he shows his affection to his granddaughters. I didn't remember having days when I was hugged nor kissed by him when I was little, as it is the scene in this book, but I do know that he does love his granddaughters, by the few words he speaks.
And was so touched by that confiding little kiss that all his crustiness vanished, and he just set her on his knee and laid his wrinkled neck against her rosy one, feeling as if he had got his own little granddaughter back again. Beth ceased to fear him from that moment, and sat there talking to him as cozily as if she had known him all her life, for love casts out fear and gratitude can conquer pride (page 89).
I haven't even finished reading this book. I'm still 500ish pages away from the end, but there are so many things already that I couldn't keep it myself. Maybe, once I've finished this, I'll come back here and tell you how my little heart has felt over the entire book.
As what this book has reminded me of, for the new year, I probably should be a more loving person, because no one could survive the cold and harsh world without the warmth and the comfort of love from those who matter.
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